Last week was a rough week for me. I would take the 70 days in the NICU over the 6 days we had downtown any day. The nurses and doctors were good, but it was so different to me. I was used to carry on conversations with the nurses in the NICU and I was lucky if I saw the nurses for more than a couple minutes a handful of times per shift down there. It was hard. Especially on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday when Derek went back to work. It was just me and the little guy and he didn't talk back much. It's funny, I don't really consider myself a major talker, but I just like to know that there is someone I can talk to if I wanted to talk. I guess it gave me a glimpse of what it would be like without the support of family, friends and the church. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we didn't have the support. We definitely did and it was and is appreciated. It did allow me to have some empathy for those that don't have that support though. It made me realize I need to be more aware of needs around me and jump at every opportunity God gives me to help someone out.
Joshua is doing good. He's gaining weight pretty fast, partly due to the fact he is taking formula with a thickener in it for the majority of his feeds. They ended up doing a swallow test Tuesday afternoon, on the day we were thinking we were going home. The test revealed he aspirated trace amounts of liquid when it was just formula. That means some of the formula went to his lungs when he swallowed. I sat there and watched the test as they were doing it and the speech therapist said she saw something go in. I was staring at the screen and was convinced it was a conspiracy against me. They wanted me to stay in the hospital forever! I mean I wear contacts, but I thought my eyes were pretty good and I never saw what she saw. He got no second chance. They tested him on formula with thickener and said he did fine with that, but that ended up buying us one more day to make sure he did okay with thickened feeds. I definitely wanted him to be monitored and to do well, but I was ready to be out of there. At first she told me she wanted to monitor him a few days and told me the thickener could cause NEC. Not being a nurse, i had no clue what that was and asked for an explanation. Basically it is when your stomach rots out. I then knew it was a conspiracy and was completely freaked out. I asked if we could be transferred back to the woodlands. The resident that was in charge of Joshua and the occupational therapist came back to our room a bit after the study and told me it would only be one more day and the thickener that caused that is now not allowed in hospitals. That made me feel better:)
We finally got to go home on the 3rd and spent the 4th of July at home relaxing as a family again. He's been doing well since. He went to the eye doctor today to make sure his eyes are fully developed. They still weren't quite there. The doctor said that he probably switched over to survival mode while he was in the hospital and so his body focuses on that instead of growing his eyes. We will go back in foir weeks and hopefully they will be fully developed then!
Thanks for continuing to pray for us during this time. God has continued to be faithful and has taught us a lot since March 25th!
Specifics to pray for:
That he will do fine swallowing regular liquids on his swallow test either this week or next week so he can go back to breast milk!
That Joshua's eyes will be fully developed when we go back in four weeks. They have to use this horrible device to keep his eyes open and he has the most heart breaking screams when he is looking at them. I prefer not to have to do that more than one more time.
That he can remain healthy along with the rest of our family! The doctor said he can go to childcare starting next week. Pray that we will have wisdom on when the best time to send him will be. I don't want to go back to the hospital!
I start back to work next Monday. That I will balance work and home well and will be the best wife and mom I can be!
For continued direction with the nicu ministry. That God will lead is and we will follow.
Thanks!!!!
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